Doubts

So I went for my 5k jog on Sunday, and it was painful. I'm going to blame the cold for some of it but I just felt exhausted and it was difficult for me to breath properly. Admittedly it got better as I went along but it was generally not a pleasant experience. As I was jogging (and walking) I just kept thinking, how the hell am I going to do this for 13.1 miles if I can't do it for 3.1 miles! At the time I just wanted to say screw the half marathon training - I just want to go home and eat chips! But I got to the end and I went home and didn't have chips. So that's plus. But I felt like crap for the rest of the day not physically but mentally. I felt beaten up by the fact I am so unfit, and that I'm the one that has let myself get like this. The jog wasn't the only factor for feeling like this though, I've had shitty runs (not that kind!) before. I think one of the reasons I felt so disheartened was due in part to (online) dress shopping. I have decided that for my wedding in September I am going to wear a Vivien of Holloway dress, that may look a little something like this;

Now the biggest size they do is for a 38" waist, which is fine. Ok, I'm not quite at that waist size but I'm not far off and am confident that I can get down to that (and smaller) by the end of May time when I am planning to go and try some dresses on! What got me is that they rank a 38" waist as a dress size 24. Twenty fucking four! I'm just above a 38" waist and wear size 18 trousers and 16 tops. And supposedly the most important dress I'll ever buy will be in a size 24. It sucks to say the least. What I am going, and have to do, is block out the dress size and go by measurements - and maybe when I get the dress cut the size label out! Perhaps, as these dresses are in the 1950s style they have kept their sizing in line with that, and a 38" waist would have been a size 24 back in the 50s. Therefore when people say Marilyn Monroe was a size 16 dress, they actually mean she was a size 16 in relation to 1950s, and those sizes have been creeping up ever since?! Now after a pep talk from Skinny Jeans I have decided not to let this dress size thing bother me and instead I will focus working as hard as I can, and eating as well as I can. We have a long time until the wedding in September, and even longer until the half marathon so I have time to get better, and fitter and I will laugh at the day a 5k nearly defeated me!

Progress

So it's been a while and it's about time I wrote an update. I have to admit I have been a little half arsed with thing recently. I have been going out for jogs but not as often as I should, and I have been eating better, but still having quite a few treats. My scales at home are ancient but I have been using them now and then, and they have been sticking at the same place (but at least they aren't going up!) Despite this at the weekend I decided to take some measurements.

The last time I had dusted off the old measuring tape was 17 November 2011; so before my Christmas binge. I was pretty chuffed (despite the fact I've had three months in-between the first measuring and the second) to find out I've lost 2 inches on all of my big areas (waist, boobs, hips) and 1 inch on my less big areas (arms and thighs). This has given me a bit of a boost, and also made me think what could I have achieved if I worked harder, and ate more sensibly. Therefore in honour of Lent and giving shit up I have decided to give up all chocolate until Easter. I know, I know, I'm always saying no biscuits, no cakes and I never actually do it, but I mean it this time - honest. Last Lent I gave up crisps and fizzy drinks and I managed to stick at it, and now I only have these items very infrequently, so lets hope I can do the same with chocolate. The other things I am giving up for Lent are weighing and measuring myself. This is just because I want to feel as good as I do now at the end of Lent, when hopefully I can see more progress and more inches being lost. Hurrah!